Dr. Huizenga, the Infidelity Coach, offers infidelity help and relationship advice for coping with extramarital affairs and marital infidelity at: http://Break-Free-From-the-Affair.com
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I've worked intensively with hundreds of couples over the past 25 years and, of course, you will not be surprised to know that more women than men are 'open' to marital therapy and talking about relationships in general.
Most men reluctantly enter the realm only if they 'have to.' Their marital world usually needs to be in dire straits before they give their assent.
Here are some observations...
When you discover that your partner is immersed in infidelity, you may have a powerful need to know. You want to know the details. Maybe ALL the details. When? Where? How? How Often? What was it like? etc.
No. there is nothing wrong with you. In working intimately with hundreds of people like you, ravaged by an extramarital affair, the need to know is very common.
Here are six reasons why you...
I often explain that "polarized couples" (one wants to 'talk it through' and the other hopes it 'goes away' for example) find their marriage grinding to a halt when they believe they must "work on the relationship?'
Here are some difficulties typically experienced when a couple commits to "working on the relationship:"
"Working on the relationship" often implies that each "should or must"...
Upon discovery of infidelity there is often a strong need to know the details. What happened? When? Where? Why? etc. The reasons for these questions are examined in my first article on this subject: "Infidelity: Why the Need to Know is so Strong."
You have the need to know, but his/her lips are sealed or walks away, ignores or bypasses your questions, puts it back on you, denies or does other...
Your relationship has suffered a deep wound. Both of you have a level of commitment to "make it work." The OP is out of the picture - a least to a large degree.
You know there is a crisis. You know you must "get at" the problem. Now is the time. If you don't address the crisis NOW, in some way, you know the chances for having a vibrant rich relationship are spiraling downward.
Efforts to...
