1. You display your middle finger on the dashboard before you start the car.

2. There are more holes in the walls of your house than there are craters on the moon.

3. You thought the movie “Natural Born Killers” was a documentary.

4. You joined the Beer & Gun Club.

5. Your definition of Anger Management is managing to program the VCR without throwing it across the room first.

6. Your bumper sticker reads: How’s My Driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SH%T ext. AND-DIE.

7. You were banned from the Beer & Gun Club.

8. The bulging vein in your forehead pulsates to the beat of La Cucaracha.

9. Your idea of a relaxing evening is to kick back with a case of beer and watch the glow of the bug zapper.

10. Your list of people to get back at is longer than your tax return.