You can do this in several ways. Firstly by:

Going on a starvation diet.

That is missing meals and only having half meals when you do eat.

You may think that by missing meals you are taking in less calories and surely that is what you must do to lose weight. But you are wrong.

Because your body will decide that there is going to be a famine for whatever reason and so will store whatever carbohydrates and fat are in the food you DO eat and store it as fat for possible future starvation.

Not drinking enough water.

Water is essential for living. You can live for about 3 weeks without food, but only about 7 days without water.

You need to drink about 2 litres a day. If like me you don’t like plain water, you can add unsweetened cordial to it. Do not confuse drinking pure fruit juice with drinking water. Pure fruit juice is more of a food than a drink.

Alcohol especially beer will make you put on weight because it is full of calories.

So if you DON’T want to lose weight, drink lots of it.

Also, not drinking enough water could make you constipated. This will make you feel bloated, sluggish and your metabolism will slow down, resulting in the food you do eat being unable to get away from you and will store as fat. The faster your metabolism, the quicker your waste will be evacuated from your body and not get a chance to hang about as fat.

Carbohydrates will make sure you DON’T lose weight.

If you are really determined that you DON’T want to lose weight. Be sure to eat lots of food containing carbohydrates.

There’s a load of carbohydrates in breads and pastries. So enjoy yourself, tuck into a large plate of meat pie and chips, followed by some delicious apple pie and custard. And to really make sure you DON’T lose weight, have seconds of everything.

Salt will help you in your mission NOT to lose weight.

Salt will absorb water. So the more salt you take in to your body, the less water there will be to convert into blood and other body fluids.

Now you know how to sabotage your own body and self-destruct.

And you will know How To Not Lose Weight.