If you have the nagging feeling that your husband may be having an affair, this is the ideal time to confirm what you suspect. The Valentine’s Day gifts he gives or receives can provide you with tangible proof of his infidelity.

If your husband has a lover he’s certain to buy her a Valentine’s Day gift; whether he receives one in return or not. This could prove to be his undoing. An observant wife can find some solid evidence this time of year if she knows what to look for and where to look.

A husband can sometimes get away with giving his wife a card and a hastily purchased box of chocolates. But tradition demands that on Valentine’s Day, he gives his mistress a special gift. No self-respecting man would try to impress his girlfriend with a cheap token of his affection. If he wants to remain in her good graces (and in her bed) he has to buy her a decent gift.

It goes without saying that gifts cost money. Even if your husband has been siphoning off small sums for several weeks or months, you’ll find evidence of his spending somewhere. If he doesn’t pay in cash he’ll have to use his credit card. But there’s always a paper trail.

Have there been any suspicious withdrawals from your bank accounts? Check the time period shortly before or after Valentine’s Day. Were there any unexplained ATM withdrawals around this time?

Check your credit card statements for the month of February, and the latter part of January too. Look for charges made at jewelry stores, women’s specialty stores, or boutiques, florists, day spas, restaurants and the like. Scrutinize any charges made on February 14th.

Check his wallet, his pockets, his backpack, his briefcase for charge slips or store receipts. If you find evidence of gift items you didn’t personally receive, it should raise a red flag in your mind. Since your husband didn’t give these gifts to you, who did he give them to?

Check various places in and around your home for hidden gifts -- under the bed, in the back of a file cabinet or dresser drawer, on the back of the closet floor, or on a seldom used shelf.

Don’t forget to search the car too. Look underneath the seat, in the trunk, in the glove compartment and in the tire well.

If you find a hidden gift, don’t jump to conclusions unless it’s obvious the gift is not for you (too large, too small, a color or style that he knows you wouldn’t wear, or has another woman’s name attached).

If Valentine’s Day passes and you haven’t received the hidden gift (but it's now gone), then it’s obvious that he gave it to someone else. Make it your business to find out who.

Shortly before Valentine’s Day, Carol found a box in her husband’s sock drawer containing a diamond and sapphire ring. She said nothing because she didn’t want to spoil the surprise. But on Valentine’s Day Jim gave Carol a dozen long stem roses and a gift certificate for a day of pampering at her favorite day spa. The next day Carol searched high and low but the ring box could not be found. She spent several sleepless nights trying to figure out what had become of the ring. Three weeks later Carol dropped by Jim’s office to meet him for lunch. One of his co-workers was wearing a ring similar to the one in the box. It didn’t take Carol long to find out Jim and this woman were having an affair.

Laura found a gift box containing a sexy negligee in the trunk of her husband's car. He tried to pass it off as a gift he purchased for her but the gown was several sizes too small. No amount of persuasion on his part could convince Laura the salesclerk put the wrong size in the box by mistake. Especially since she had already found other telltale signs of a possible affair.

Be suspicious of any unusually expensive gifts your husband receives this month. Especially if he claims he purchased the items for himself, but can’t produce a receipt.

Likewise, warning bells should sound if your husband receives gifts of an extremely personal nature, in February or at any other time. No woman other than yourself should be giving your husband six pairs of silk boxer shorts -- unless it’s his mother or his sister. (And even then, you should check to make sure.)

Take notice if your husband is missing for several hours on February 14th. Be wary if he invents excuses to come home late, or to run an errand later on, on Valentine’s night. These could be additional telltale signs.

If you suspect your husband of cheating, Valentine’s Day gifts could provide the missing pieces of the infidelity puzzle. Especially if there have been other telltale signs in the previous weeks or months. It may be time to have a serious talk with your husband. If he’s cheating, you don’t want to be the last one to know. Find out what’s going on before it’s too late.

© Ruth Houston 2004